Daniel's been chattering about pickled eggs and pickled okra, so I bought a jar of each at the Cash Savers today. Both were great! I just needed some deep fried butter to make this a complete Southern meal.
I used to travel Mexico a lot in the mid-seventies with my Japanese wife Marcy. On one adventure we met another American couple who invited us out to the Sand Dune Hill Climb event the next day.
We found our new friends and climbed up into the back seat of a monster fucking big truck and headed to the start line. We were huge compared to the other large trucks.
As the countdown continued down, the guy say's "no, it's too easy this way" and flipped that baby around in a heartbeat. Suddenly, we're blasting up the side of this sand dune, backward, while the competition on both sides faded away.
We don't give Backwards the respect it's totally due.
As the story goes, four people were sitting around a round table when a question arose from the gray mist: If you could describe yourself with one word, what would it be.
As each word of truth came forward, the surprising small hands of the sole woman at the table, created this. But, to be honest here, the word Dick did not come from Chris's mouth, it came from the Bitch's mouth. He did not get a chance to get his word out, because she inserted it and passed him on by, because she's, you know, The Bitch.
It's interesting how one word can come blasting from your brain, one word to define yourself. It's also interesting how your friends perceive themselves. I don't agree with any of their perceptions, and hopefully they don't agree with mine.
What is your word, my friend the Dick, we can update this document!
Update: Dick has been changed to Limited.
I'm trying to access my next move, but I'm not seeing it. Survival is always good I suppose, while I watch the wagon roll on down the road without me. Thank god it's the season and my two favorite holidays are coming up, and I've already set a precedent by spending Halloween in a Chattanooga nightclub. And I trust that anyone that knows me in the slightest spots the facetiousness in that favorite holiday crap.
My auto insurance continues to go up, even though I've never filed a claim with Farmers in thirty years. I guess my agent needs that $30 to have lunch with my landlord, who also raised my rent by $25. When you live on a fixed income there ain't nobody or nothin you can raise to make up for it. But hey, look at all of the benefits I'm gaining for the money!
When you get old, life becomes a lose lose situation. The best thing I can say about my life, is that I still have a platform to bitch about it from. One day I'll have pissed off or bored the very last person who bothers to read this blog, at which point this thing will be done.
I made a new friend over the last few days, his name is Stormy. He's a world class body builder, runs a gym in Pensacola and consumes 4,000 calories a day. He flew up to D.C. to drive Shelby's U-Haul down to Tampa and he's driving back there in a few days with a dresser in his truck.
There's no romance here, just great friends, and my single grand-daughter Shelby is the hottest catch in Tampa, if you could keep up with her.
My latest run at sobriety was a good one. I accomplished my goal of meeting Shelby's friends with a straight face, and I'm proud of that.
But in the process I became painfully aware that the addiction was still there and all I was doing was forcibly denying it. In the middle of day eleven as we were heading out to dinner with friends, I new it was over.
So what is a man to do in this situation? I'm not getting what I really want out of life, I've run out of goals, and I'm lying flat on my back having fallen off that fucking wagon, once again.
I really don't know what's going to happen next, or even what I'm going to do today. Each step forward this morning has felt like a step back.
Maybe that's the solution, turn around and start walking backwards. I'm really good at pissing and moaning about my past life, at least this way I'll be able to see it more clearly. I can use my new phone as a backup camera, just to make sure I'm not walking off a cliff.
I'm back home from that little drive down to Tampa, FL. I left there early yesterday morning and drove a bunch. Half way up I75 South of Atlanta my electronics bit the dust. It all boiled down to the charger plugin outlet that feeds everything, and it was hot.
I pulled into a Rest Area and discovered that I actually do have my act together. Inside my glove box was a full fuse kit with a plastic extractor. I found the burnt fuse, popped a 15amp back in there, and down the highway I rolled, charging everything again.
I wasn't sure how far I wanted to go and kept playing different scenarios out on my GPS as I drove North. I remembered a little club up in Chattanooga that had a quiet spot in the back to crash for the night, so I headed there.
As the place was shutting down I talked to the boss and told him I had a bit to drink and was going to crash in his gated yard, and he said fine. But I couldn't sleep on my bed in the back because it was wet.
So I grabbed a blanket and my pillow and hunkered down in the drivers seat. After a while I woke up and drove my ass home. I just barely found a gas station open and damned if I didn't make it!
So here I am, home again. It's 0245 the day after Halloween. I was going to hit the beach yesterday with Shelby and setup a candy dispensary from her garage. I have absolutely no regrets bailing on my amazing grand-daughter, because she had amazing things to do. And entertaining me was in the way of everything.
It's really good to be home.
Update: It's really good to be awake! Apparently I passed out here in my chair a few hours ago. I guess I should get this post up now, while I can...
It's early in the morning on Halloween and I'm hitting the road. The best gift I can give you right now is one more day to unpack your things and fix up your apartment, and handle that remote job up in DC. Thanks for everything, it's been a wonderful visit!
Thanks for letting me crash on your couch last night, it was very comfy. I'm grabbing that door dash bowl of stuff for brunch later on.
I love you lady, very much, and may the spirits of our past be with you today.
Your proud grandfather,
OldManJim
I had a hot lunch date with my sizzling young woman friend named Shelby. The old guys around me couldn't pick their jaws up off the table, it was embarrassing.
We ate at a place called BJ's and I asked the waitress what that stood for, and all she could do is blush. The food was great, I ate the tasty salmon, and we had pot-stickers and other good things...
We got Stormy off to the airport on time while Shelby pulled off mandatory video office meetings at the same time. I just rode along wondering where my glasses went to last night. I finally found them in the basket that held the poker cards.
My overworked beautiful favorite grand-daughter is still hanging chill, with everything going down across two jobs. The kitchen needs to be unpacked, but life has it's priorities. She keeps sayin we're heading to the beach, but I'm up for just hanging here at the pool today.
Life is tough down here in Tampa Bay, on the Gulf Coast of Mexico. I don't know when the fuck I'll actually head home.
I had a hot lunch date with my sizzling young woman friend named Shelby. The old guys around me couldn't pick their jaws up off the table, it was embarrassing.
We ate at a place called BJ's and I asked the waitress what that stood for, and all she could do is blush. The food was great, I ate the tasty salmon, and we had pot-stickers and other good things...
We got Stormy off to the airport on time while Shelby pulled off mandatory video office meetings at the same time. I just rode along wondering where my glasses went to last night. I finally found them in the basket that held the poker cards.
My overworked beautiful favorite grand-daughter is still hanging chill, with everything going down across two jobs. The kitchen needs to be unpacked, but life has it's priorities. She keeps sayin we're heading to the beach, but I'm up for just hanging here at the pool today.
Life is tough down here in Tampa Bay, on the Gulf Coast of Mexico. I don't know when the fuck I'll actually head home.
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