What the hell is happening to me? I can't stop writing, then looking back on the Posts and cracking myself up! Maybe I've entertained some folks out there, along the way, or not.
I'm drunk now, surviving on the last bit of vodka Daniel left me after his Bloody Mary binge yesterday. My friend is coming over and I think getting our smoke on is underway.
Oh wait, I'm back, and stoned. My, what an interesting day! Our talk has been amazing, and now I'm writing, while he's deep into his phone.
My friend is really out there, in a comfortable way. He has this deep down home country voice, that rattles off great wisdom in rapid fire.
I have not recorded him during one of his amazing rants, or his interactions with spam callers, out of respect. But, they are truly mind blowing!
The man is looking for work, and I think he is promotable! He could be a TikTok media star!
And sometimes I have an ability to transform reality, into words...
If the video fails to load, click Here.
I guess I'm on a roll with these Posts that keep erupting from my fingertips. I layed down on my bed for a while and kept wondering if Shelby was sharing any of them with her co-workers. The image of her grand-father laying dead on a cold concrete prison floor with a giant dick up his ass, could linger in their minds for the entire afternoon.
I have been fucked in the ass. You know, when you live this long, stuff happens along the way, and I really don't like it. That little hole is not meant to be a sexual organ, it has one purpose in life, and getting plowed ain't it!
Speaking of my ass, one day back in my days as a paratransit supervisor in South Seattle, I had an appointment for doctors to do a colon cancer check. I was living with our receptionist Steph at the time, and I don't recall if our relationship was out or not.
I took the day off, for an afternoon appointment, and started drinking to prepare for a scope up my butt. I ended up passing out, missed the procedure and pissed a bunch of medical people off.
That was a couple of decades ago, so I guess it didn't fucking matter in the long run. I could have stuff going on in my body, or not. Life is what it is, and I will last as long as I'm destined to.
I have decided that I ain't going to be one of those people who worry about medical issues. I figure I've lived past my prime, and every day is just sugar on the top!
Ok, I'm in legal trouble now, and if I don't resolve this within the next few days, I could be locked up for a long time!
It all stems from that recent road trip down to Tampa to see Shelby. Apparently I broke the law and didn't realize it. My vehicle was captured by a license plate scanner and proved that I was at the scene and committed the crime.
I am now frantically looking for an attorney to help me. I don't want to be imprisoned! I've been watching prison videos on NetFlix, and I would be old meat to those guys.
Hmmm, at least I would have a free roof over my head and a couple squares a day, but I don't think my ass could take the pounding. I would die on the cold dirty concrete floor with a giant dick inside me, a hell of a way to go, not what I planned!
So, I better resolve this now if I want to stay alive! The FDOT (Florida Department of Transportation) has accused me of driving in some sort of fucking lane that I shouldn't have been in without a special permit to do so.
As I was trying to navigate the crazy busy freeways of Florida I must of happened into a toll lane and now they want me to pay up!
I have to login to their website with my debit card, write a check, or pay $4.82 cash, to stay out of prison.
Maybe I should just drive down there, find their fucking office, and pay them with four hundred and eighty two pennies!
Sounds like a good excuse to see Shelby in Tampa!
I learned a couple of things yesterday. After barging into their house yesterday with a mask and a head thing, and almost getting shot before Daniel recognized me, I spoke with his wife Jennifer.
It was a quiet moment, but something happened. I have operated under the assumption that she didn't like me, always bugging Daniel to have her come over and play poker, and always getting denied. This house could use some female energy so bad.
But then last night he said Jennifer would come over sometime and play a card game called UNO. I have no idea what that is but that doesn't matter, the fact that she would be willing to socialize with me, is a big deal!
The other thing I learned was a word, called "tea bagged". As I was hanging out with my two male friends, it came up, they were laughing, and I had no idea why.
Apparently it refers to an act that one or more males do to another brother that is laying flat on his back unconscious from too much socializing.
It's nut sack to face. Who the hell came up with this? Is it a Southern thing or is it world wide, and how in my 77 years haven't I heard of it, much less participated in it!
It makes me wonder what happened after I passed out in my chair last night!
It has been an absolutely fascinating and enlightening Sunday end to this thing called Thanksgiving!
I started out driving my truck North this morning and I saw employees getting Hinie's BBQ ready for breakfast and the build your own Bloody Mary's thing. Never made it there, damn!
I turned around at a little park just South of Columbia, TN. My truck was so happy after 69 miles I thought she was going to come! But I'm not sure what that would be like.
Then my friend called and asked if I'd like to burn one and I said sure! The rest of the day was a blur. I think the Titans won but I don't remember.
Now it's Monday, and all of that holiday stuff is done. I woke up this morning with a nagging feeling that I committed to something yesterday, but if I did, it drowned in alcohol last night.
I drove off into the cold looking for a hot meal and found Pat's Cafe open, thank god. I had me a big ol breakfast, two rounds of coffee, and multiple glasses of water, and here I am, still alive!
As I inspect the house, I realize that somebody drank a lot of my booze and all of my V8 juice. I guess Mary was on her period yesterday...
My truck has been reborn, it's gone from dead to amazing! I drove her North on Hwy 43 up to Columbia and back, through multiple speed zones and topped out at 75 when the popo wasn't watching.
As I drove I thought about all the good things I've done to her recently.
• Major brake job.
• New tires, first rotation.
• New cap and rotor.
• New spark plugs.
• Rebuilt the carburetor.
• Flushed the transmission.
• Flushed the rear end.
• New distributer.
• Oil change tomorrow.
If you're going to drive a thirty five year old truck, you have to maintain it.
Losing her over Thanksgiving made me realize how much I need her. We have a relationship together! If I had put as much care and attention into a woman, I wouldn't be a sad lonely old man, now.
Ok, I don't know where my world is right now. I take my drinks into my mouth and they linger there, for sometimes long moments, before I choose to consume them.
I have no teeth anymore, and the experience is amazing. The drinks swirl around in my mouth and I have to tell myself to swallow. And when I do, they explode into an orgasm of energy as they blast down into my throat!
It's like a sexual experience, and since I am an old man who doesn't get any more of that anymore, I value the fuck out of it!
I drank last night and put myself to bed with 400mg of Celebrex and slept like a baby, God did I need that! I woke up at 0715 and Daniel knocked on the door shortly after. Soon, we were drinking Bloody Marys.
I offered to buy him breakfast this morning if he got me to the bank and then on to pick up my truck.
We called all around and the only place open was up in the Park. So, we took off into the world on a fucking Saturday morning at 0800, with a couple Marys in our gut.
I grabbed some cash to pay Thomas from the ATM, and then we drove to the Park. They had a buffet going and we got a table overlooking Lake Lindsey, and hit the breakfast buffet, with Mimosa's on the side.
Then we hooked up with Thomas and my truck is purring like a kitten, thanks man.
Now we're sitting around my house with cocktails going on and I'm not safe to drive my sweet little recovered truck! Maybe tomorrow!
The carb was still running high, and Daniel came over and brought it down.
Just now, he tapped on my shoulder as I was hearing her purr, for almost an hour, and suggested I shut everything down, and I did.
This old truck is ready to ride! Where to?
I'm sitting here in my little place tonight trying to knock myself down to a place where I can sleep. Last Thanksgiving night there were no cocktails in the house, I was hungry, and the Celebrex wasn't working. Every twenty minutes I was rolling over to avoid the inflamed arthritis on my right side, and waking up.
Tonight I have remedied those issues. I've also had great chats with my two most important people, my boy Riley in Seattle and my grand-daughter Shelby in Tampa.
I have lived a long time, and I can't even remember when chatting came into my computer consultant life. I know it occurred on PC based platforms in the eighties and on into the nineties, and I was right there to employ it. I think there was a rudimentary form of messaging between users on IBM systems in the seventies, but I can't remember anymore.
But the platform we have now, that all of you take for granted, is stunning to me, and I am so glad I have lived this long to experience it.
Talking via words on a screen in a naturally flowing format has been around for quite a while now, but the seamless integration between our cellular devices and our laptops and computers, is just kinda blowing my old mind now.
And the ability to throw every piece of data we have into the flow, is a testament to brilliant coders, and I salute you!
So, this old coder says good night, turning "Do Not Disturb" mode on, and really hoping I can get a good nights sleep!
My mechanic Thomas came through for me today, big time. I suspect he read my blog and realized this old man was dead in the water without his truck, and he took time out of his family day after Thanksgiving to fix it. You have earned my loyalty sir.
Turns out it was my distributer, so he drove to the parts store, got it, installed it, and finished up the tuning on my rebuilt carb.
That's the thing about maintaining a sweet old truck, stuff wears out! I need my truck, it's like an extension of me, and I can't afford an alternative vehicle.
So if your looking for a great mechanic, I highly recommend Thomas! His shop is the old Bobby Darnell place, just past First St off Hwy 43 in Lawrenceburg, TN, heading North, on the left.
I just talked to my auto body genius son in Seattle, and he said the distributer makes sense. I bought the truck off him many years ago, and I have continued to maintain and improve her, and maybe I'll get another 250K out of her, or more.
Thomas's rates are also very reasonable! My boy was saying that having the same job done by the ripoff mechanics in his area would be much more.
Thanks again, my friend!
Page 3 of 25