I've been thinking real hard lately about my life, which is easy because I don't have one anymore. I've shared a lot of it here, probably way too much, but I find that writing about it helps a bit.

I could have just been writing a daily journal all these years, for maybe someone to read when I'm gone, but instead I share my stuff, my strength and my weakness, with the world.

I often dive deep into the weakness part, leave it up for a few hours or a day, and then send the Post to the trash.

It actually doesn't matter to me now what the world thinks. I only have a very few people left in my life, and they know who I am. If the world drops by my blog and reads a Post, well that's cool.

Verbs, nouns, pronouns and adjectives have been floating through my brain a lot lately, describing this point in my life that I have arrived at. I'm going to write them here, and if it's too much, please bail now!

The Physical: Old, out of shape, barely walking, falling. I'm amazed I can still do the things that keep me going, and I'm fading quickly.

The Medical: Parkinsons, Dementia, Arthralgia. The shakes are getting worse and I find myself doing simple things stupidly, and painfully.

The Emotional: Depressed, lonely, regretful, suicidal. I spend most of my days alone and crying.

The Sexual: Wishful, accepting, over. I will never experience a woman again.

The Compassionate: Caring, helpful, generous, non-judgmental. I have this desire to help people in need, and I do as often as I can, unless I find myself being used.

So here's where I've landed in life. It could be much worse, and I'm grateful it's not. I'm going to live my life until it's taken from me. This is my Synopsis.