I think maybe it's time to give up. My head is a mess, my mind is shattered and my heart is broken. We all eventually reach a point in life where the reasons to continue run out, and I may be there.

I can't make another trip back to that hospital. My quality of life is at the bottom, and I don't feel it rising. I don't have a woman by my side, nor do I expect one.

I have family and friends that love me, I know that, but there's got to be more, and I don't see it. That kind of love is great if you have your life together, worthless if you don't.

So I'm going to stagger down to the creek tomorrow and throw myself in. I want to thank everyone who cared about me, say a nice word or two at my funeral.

Goodbye! See you on the other side...