The Ultra Sound room was cozy, with dim lighting. A pretty, friendly redhead named Melissa let me put my coat on her chair, then she laid me down on the bed.

I call it a bed because it was soft and cozy, with pillows. She and the machine were on my right and she asked me to put my right arm up around my head so it was out of the way. I fought through the arthritis and did it.

Then she placed one of those little wired clips on the index finger of my left hand that was laying by my side. She then had me pull my sweats down for a second and she put a wired clamp on my right nut.

I asked her what this was for, and she said This is my special Shock and Light system. She explained that I now have a small current flowing through my body that lights up my internal organs so she can capture them better.

I asked about the Shock thing and she said that if I moved in the slightest while getting my abdomen rubbed all over with a warm scope by a hot redhead, she was going to zap the shit out of me! Story of my life, I said fine...

It lasted about ten minutes and I laid perfectly still. She kept telling me to take a deep breath and hold it, then the dominatrix Melissa would let me breath again. Sometimes she would tell me to stop breathing right after I exhaled and there was no air in my lungs, but damned if I was going to gasp for air and get the shit shocked out of me!

We had a fun laugh at the end when I asked her if I still had a liver, and she said yes. That's good!

It was actually a very nice experience, Melissa was sweet and professional, and the results should be at my doctors the first of next week.