I'll be talking with a behavioral therapist next Thursday morning via Zoom. I presume we'll have the opportunity to discuss my issues, and options.

I think I've figured the issues out to a certain extent, and it would be helpful to summarize them here for reference.

I have Essential Tremor, which means that my body vibrates strongly from the inside every second of my life. It's evolving into full blown Parkinsons, which is in the family on my dad's side, big time. I'm a walking, talking vibrator. Too bad there's nowhere to stick me into!

I'm taking two prescriptions recommended for these issues, but they become less effective every day. My hands are shaking, my walk is declining, and the ability to do simple things, is fading.

In the mornings I stay busy and just deal with it, but by 1100 I've had enough, depression about this and life in general slides in, and I start to drink. By 2000 I'm able to hit the bed, pass out, and have a decent sleep.

When I don't drink, or drink lightly, I lay there feeling the vibrations course through my body all night.

I'm an alcoholic, and I've gotten sober many times in my life. The problem now is, I'm running out of reasons to quit, and I have nobody by my side to help. The last great effort was when I turned seventy back in Idaho! I lasted a year, got in great shape and dropped down to an amazing 150lbs. Steph was my supportive partner.

I'm now just an old man living alone in an old house, drinking myself to sleep at night! What a hell of a way to land...

So, that's it. Maybe I'll just email the therapist this post before the Zoom meeting, so we can cut to the chase!