As another day drags along I realize I've lost something, it's called meaning. I'm not sure when or where I lost it, but it's definitely gone. I derive a small bit of pleasure when I feed the ducks in the morning, but for the rest of the day, there is none.

I've given up on the road trip bullshit, traveling alone while feeling like shit, with a right arm that's falling apart, is foolish.

Now I just sit around, watch NetFlix, drink and cry. It's pathetic, really. I sure have come a long way down from the man I just wrote about, the dynamic lead paratransit supervisor guy.

The Holidays are coming up, again. I managed to spend Christmas on a cruise boat recently but I can't remember if it was last year or the year before. I'd love to take another cruise with my dwindling savings, but I'm just not up for it. Hell, shopping at Krogers is my big event.

I'm sorry for this pathetic post, but I needed to get it written. I don't expect anyone to swoop in and rescue me, nor do I want it. I've landed in this space as a result of the decisions I've made, and I take full responsibility for it. If you've read this far, thanks, but I think I'll take a break from blogging for a while...