I have one of the original Amazon Echo's, got it early before the public, as part of something I was doing. So I've had an AI as part of my life for a long time, and I've been shelling out for Amazon Prime ever since, because you need access to the monster.

I currently call her Computer and I use her constantly throughout my day, to control lights and my big Roku TV. You can hear me down the block when I scream Computer! Mute Roku! because I'm doing something else and don't have access to my remote, when the fucking My Pillow commercial comes on, at Fox News.

I'm always asking her shit, she's my insanely knowable friend. What's the temperature, what time is it, what is ..., how do you spell ..., everything!

Today, I asked her what the weather was going to be like tomorrow. She told me, and then she said btw, did you know that cat succulent planters for small plants by animal lovers is on sale now?.

She asked if I was interested, I said sure. Then she proceed to give me a sales pitch for a product that incorporates everything that Amazon knows about this old, long standing customer, and his recent purchases. I've bought a lot of cat stuff over the years and I recently was searching plants and fertilizer.

How fucking insidious is this? Anyway, she asked if I would like to put this thing in my cart, and I said sure. Then she told me it had been added, goodbye! Mission accomplished...

So I go to my cart, and there it is. The sappiest most stupid crap you can imagine. Deleted, goodbye!

I love this little artificial intelligence lady that sits next to me, but she works for the monster.