I spent Fathers Day 2021 drinking alone up at David Crockett State Park in southern Tennessee doing a deep dive into how the fuck I got here.

I kept looking for starting points. What were the key events that formed me as a man. Was it at the age of seven when my stepdad bailed on my brother and I when we discovered he wasn't our real dad, and the beatings began? Was it when I hitch-hiked out of Paradise, CA at 16 to explore the world and nobody gave a shit. Was it the honorable discharge from the Navy because I scored the highest GCT test they had seen and didn't want to mess up my life. Was it the Haight Ashbury and all those drugs?

What the hell brought me to that point in life where I failed totally as a father and bailed on my daughter Becky when she was a teenager. It fucked her up badly and she went on to a life of drugs, multiple partners, and many children. It is the biggest regret of my life.

After bottoming out so many times I arose from the ashes to become a good father to Riley. Most of the cycles were finally broken and all I could focus on was being a good dad and role model to him. It actually helped me become a better man.

He is now 34 and I am 74. His life is solid, he has a good woman, and a baby on the way. He's landed much better than me. That's alright, I've accepted all of the most recent stuff that has put me here alone. I am a grown old man with a good truck, a little travel money, and an urge to hit some music venues this summer. And I can still dance...