Sometimes I just want to say fuck it and sit on my porch blasting music out the door, getting drunk as a skunk. Sometimes I do. I have nobody around me that cares, or that I bother. Welcome to Tennessee!

I'm beginning to develop a don't give a shit attitude that surprises me. I've survived an amazing life, I haven't made any big mistakes to bring me down, and here I am, living legally on a deadend street in the south. My finances are cool, I could easily die here as an old drunk, but that ain't what I want.

I want to go out with a bit of integrity. I would love to reconnect with my daughter, meet as many grandkids as I can, and hug Riley and Jess's daughter in Washington. Maybe see my brother one more time, if he is still alive.

So what's holding me back? Piper, and my stuff. I have a cool little pad here with all of the things I need to have a life with, and my cat and I love each other.