Jesus was a good guy. Joseph and Mary borned him, not knowing his father because they never got it on. I think Mary was a virgin, which I'm sure caused some questions in the neighborhood.

He walked around during his life spreading good will. People wrote about him, documenting everything. Eventually a book was written by somebody.

He got caught up in something, and was hung up on a cross, between two bad guys, and was left there to die, which he did, apparently.

He was put into a tomb, where he got up off the slab a few days later, and walked out. Thus the legend, and religion, was born.

He came out in a Santa suit, and nobody knew where he got it. He was also followed by a bunch of small people.

Together they started a toy factory, that spread across the world, and was only presented on the guys birthday, December 25.