There have been a few times in my many years when people I cared about have let me know that they no longer want me in their life. Nothing quite hurts like that and I always held them to it, even when they changed their mind, I never saw them again.

I fell in love with those girls. They were like grand daughters and I was part of their family. I haven't seen them for almost a year and it has broken my heart.

Now I'm here in Tennessee alone with my cat and wondering what my next move is...

Notes along the way:

• Do you ever start your day with a bowl of hot steaming organic oatmeal topped with a giant sliced banana, only to have vodka for lunch?

• Just came off an amazing few weeks of daily gym treadmill and exercise at home, lost 1.65 pounds.

• Updates list: my boy Riley with wife Jessica and baby to be announced, nephew Brian, grand-daughter Shelby, friend Crissinda, and Steph until she tells me to stop.

• Piper and I spent the afternoon playing question and answer from the comfort of my warm lap.

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