I have so many regrets. There are times in your life when you need to step up, be strong, honest and assertive. I have achieved that a few times, and failed way too many.

I really don't know why I ended this way. I know I had great potential, such as intelligence and a lack of hatred. I've always had love in my heart, but my weakness made it worthless.

The first time my step dad acknowledged me was when I pulled off a double flip on a rope swing into Chico creek. Before that he never attended my baseball games, my track meets, or my concerts.

I hitchhiked out of Paradise, CA in the Summer I turned sixteen, traveled the country in the early sixties, and nobody gave a flying fuck. I came back, finished High School, and started a life of confusion, horniness, and no taught integrity.

My grandfather loved me and helped the best he could, but I was a mess as I proceeded through life. I can look back at it now, and realize my problem was the lack of a father to guide me.

I am so grateful that despite my failures, I was given the opportunity to be Riley's dad. I totally fucked up life with my daughter, but I wouldn't be where I am now, because my grand-daughter Shelby wouldn't exist.

So, I hold no regrets toward my step dad, we all fuck up, and life is what it is, even without a father figure.