My dear nephew Brian. My friend. So good to hear from you, it's been months since we last connected.

The Nashville tornados missed me but the one a month before went right over my little house while I sat at the screen door and watched.

Sorry to hear about Dave's broken foot from the snow machine but it's not like the guy has never had nothing broken before, sheesh... and I relate to quality time with your cat, it's the only thing that keeps me sane.

As to that ex-girlfriend, well, you don't need to pour booze on your hand, just drink it when necessary.

How am I? I realized today that this will be one of those periods in life that I will look back on someday and wish that I could recapture, because it's going downhill rapidly. Not that I'm feeling sorry for myself, just pissed that it's all finally catching up with me.

So what to do? I drank a lot of Corona back in my mexican beach bum days so I'm immune to that shit, so I should travel while everyone else is hunkering down like spineless bastards. It's not like this stuff knocks you down and makes blood spurt out of every orifice until you die a horrible death within minutes. Again, sheesh...

I will be heading your way at some point shortly in my trusty truck looking for new hot springs to conquer and smoke to soak in. We should hook up.

Your Uncle Jim.