Well, I fell off the wagon for a couple days. I'm not proud of it, but blowing the engine in my truck, and losing my mobility and a road trip I've been planning on for months, knocked me off it.

I am now back on that wagon, and I'm not counting days or weeks anymore. I'm just looking straight forward with a fuck the world attitude, working out and walking.

I had a fun time and some good grub at Hub Stacy's on the Point last evening up near Dan's place. It looked run down and barely open when we pulled up, but when we walked in, Dan, his daughter Ana, Shelby and I were lucky to get a table.

The band was just starting up and my only complaint about the joint was that they were playing too loud. It was a fun time and here's a little video.

I was wondering what I was up to four years ago, so I checked this blog. It looks like I was into some pretty interesting code. Here's something I created called Cubes.

Here's one I created for Lyla, a little girl I loved that vanished from my life.

I finally got my license plate this morning, and I'm very happy. A nice lady across the counter named Mary suggested I get an Antique plate, because my 1988 truck qualifies, and it's cheaper.

Cheaper? Hell yea, I was expecting to shell out $400 bucks, but this pretty little unique Florida plate cost $145.55, with a Tag, new Registration, and a new Title.

Once I cover up the small hole in my right tail light with some repair tape from the parts store, I will be 100% legal and a full out Floridian.

My new bank is here and my SS now goes in there directly. My Medicare Advantage is here, I have a new Primary Care doctor here, my auto insurance is here, my drivers license is here, along with Safe Driver imprinted on it. My voter registration is here, I live here.

I'm now a totally free man again, and I'm sober. Watch the fuck out world.

And, I'm taking a short road trip West tomorrow, for a couple days, to dodge the hurricane and clear my head. Shelby's got a friend away from the Coast with a generator, and she will head there if it decides to come our way. As it stands, it's going to miss us barely to the East.

I was just chatting with a very attractive fifty eight year old single lady, that mentioned she's lonely, loves to cook, and enjoys life. I showed her my Cave and she said all I need is a woman, now and then. Maybe I'll invite her over for a movie when I get back.

I went down to the State licensing place this morning for the third time, to register my truck and get my license plate with a current tag. Finally, freedom to travel and be alive.

It was my understanding that all I needed to show was proof of insurance. I picked that up more than a month ago, and I thought we were good to go. But no, they did not have a record of the title and registration, which I brought in last time, and no plate until I brought them in again. omfg.

I was expecting to plug my new bank card into their reader and let it suck $400 out, because they think they're the best State in the country and deserve to charge that amount.

Instead, I drug myself like a beat up old dog to the front door, once again. My only recourse was to go home and grab those two items, for another early morning run downtown tomorrow, for the fourth time.

I was second in line at the back entrance this morning, the secret place where people in the know, go. I was there at 0730 for an 0815 door opening.

Had a great chat with the interesting guy in front of me. Born and raised here, just did a seven year prison stretch and is living with his mom, while on disability for some ghastly disease that ate half his chest away, which he gladly pulled up his shirt and showed me. omfg.

His life seemed rough and he talked about needing food at Walmart. I remembered that I had this $20 gift card in my wallet so I pulled it out and gave it to him. He looked it up with a phone app and it only had two dollars and change on it.

I couldn't even pull off a good deed today. omfg.

My trucks name is Jill. She got that name from the time she spent hanging out with my old lifted Chevy named Jack, back in the Idaho mountains.

The odometer says 249,801, but I know that's low since the gauge is always lower than my GPS when I fiil up.

Jill is in great shape and ready for a road trip. I had some major work done to the engine before I fell apart up in Tennessee, and she needs a good run.

She has a custom made memory foam from an outfit back in Idaho Falls, and I sleep great on it. No motels for me!

I almost had another run in with the law today, when I walked up to the Dollar General looking for Super Glue. I decided to go up and down each isle to get a feel for what they have, and on one isle I encountered a punk ass young muscular black guy, who wouldn't let me pass.

He thrust his cart in front of me and said This is my isle! Sadly he must of been trying to impress the young lady he was with, but she was just rolling her eyes and looked embarrassed. The scene reminded me of one of the prison movies I've been watching lately were guys were trying to build up some cred.

I looked behind him and realized there was nothing I needed there, then looked him in the eye, turned my back on him and headed to the next isle over, and I loudly said, What a fucking idiot!

As I got to the end of that isle I heard him going off, apparently he's not used to being called a fucking idiot in front of his girl. I approached a young lady cashier and asked her were the Super Glue was, but she was distracted by the loud stupid idiot approaching, who said I brushed up against him. Uh huh...

Hey man, you want to take a swing at an old guy in shorts and sandals, I'll make sure we go to court and he goes to jail. I think the fact that I was grinning and shaking my head to the clerk pissed him off even more.

Anyway, I got my Super Glue, didn't back down to the fool, and walked back home. The reason I needed the glue was to fix my broken tail light, which still has a hole.

I'm heading downtown tomorrow morning to finish licensing my truck and get a new Florida plate, before the hurricane arrives on Wednesday.

We could end up in the bullseye, and could lose water and electricity for a week. Shelby has a new friend that owns a gun store, lives a ways out of town and has a generator. He's invited her to come there if it gets crazy, and me too, but this has Road Trip written all over it.

Stay tuned!

I have a tough decision to make, coming up soon. Do I pay the outrageous fees the Florida government want's to register my old truck, and regain my mobility, or do I pay the yearly fees to keep this blog alive. I'm really leaning towards my truck.

I've been sitting on our front porch watching the Sun go down and hoping the Blue Angels do a Sunday flyby on their return to home base. It's a mind blowing sight to see them fly fifty feet above the freeway in a single line right in front of our place.

As soon as I came inside to write this Post, I heard them roar by. Maybe that's a sign to stop writing and sharing my life, and just live it.

I've been blogging almost daily for the last thirteen years, across two Blogs and three States. If I don't pay the upcoming bill, it all goes away, forever.

I just saw on the news that the reverend Franklin Graham's religious charity has donated twenty armored ambulances to Israel.

It's a hell of a fucking life that needs that, and I'm grateful for the simple life I live here in the Gulf, even though a hurricane may be coming.

I met his father once in Reno, NV around 1965. I was a punk kid working as a bellman at the Holiday Inn and the place was buzzing one night about some special guests that wanted to remain anonymous. I got picked to serve them dinner so I delivered two meals to Billy Graham and his wife, both in their pajamas, and a couple meals going to the adjoining room where the kids were staying, Franklin Graham being one of them.

I have just one big fucking thing to say about this. I'm not a religious man, but I love and respect integrity, and I would bet my life that nobody is this family has ever attended a P-Diddy freak party!

This world is full of good and bad, and I would like to believe that I exist in the world of Good.

We drove down to the Market today, with the two dogs hooked up to matching straps. We met Amanda there with one of her dogs, then Chelsea played Uber Driver in her Lexus as we picked up food and drove down the short distance to Bruce Beach.

The Pensacola weather was perfect and I got to hang out with lovely women, and sweet pretty dogs. Life is good.

Our neighbors Dan and Crystal got a brand new refrigerator. Their previous one was in great shape, better than ours, and taking up space in their garage. So they gave it to us.

Now we have an ice and filtered water dispenser that works, and a great new box. Our previous one ended up with me out here in the Cave. The potentials with that are endless once we plug it in.

Shelbs wants to store a lot of the craft beers that didn't make it into the new box, out here in the Cave. Sure, why not, it will go good with the well stocked liquor cabinet behind my chair.

What an interesting place to be. Normally I would enjoy being surrounded by booze, getting drunk while my roommate is dressed to kill and out on the town on a beautiful Friday evening.

Sure, I could very easily do that, hell, I bet my local bar is hopping right now. But I am not, as I slide into week four, sober.

Instead of getting fucked up, I'm working out and living healthy. I love my grand-daughter, my boy and his family, and our two dogs Zinny and Lexi. I'm doing this for myself and them, nobody else.

I never talk politics on this blog, but I'm going to make an exception here. I think Taylor Swift should run as an Independent.

She could change her endorsement to herself and hold huge events. And hide those ugly legs of hers, that she sadly loves to show, with pantsuits like Tamala.

Then make Travis her VP, think of all the football fans they could attract. Hey, they're not married, fucking yes I suppose, but that would fit right in with todays politics.

So there you go, a woman President, part Black and part Hispanic, born with a dick, and hopefully looks good in pantsuits.

Taylor Swift For President!

We met my new Primary Care doctor this morning, and he's great. I told him the vibrations are gradually subsiding as I get back into shape, so we're dropping one of my meds.

Today marks three weeks sober. I did 105 abb rolls this morning and I plan on adding five a day. Shelbs and I moved her expensive exercise bike over next to my chair so I can ride and watch my big TV.

This thing has a fancy screen that lets me bike around popular places in the world. We're going to see if my new Medicare Advantage insurance supports a subscription to it, which would allow me to ride with other people live, even up in the Grand Tetons.

I weighed in at 157 at the doctors today, first time I've weighed myself in months. My perfect weight is 150 so I've got a few pounds to shed on my gut to reach that, and be able to see my abbs again.

I'm beginning to wonder who the hell I am lately...

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We're heading out early tomorrow for my first doctor visit since the Tennessee vodka suicide debacle. Shelby's coming along because she knows and distributes my meds, and she knows what went down across those recovery places that I have absolutely no memory of.

She doesn't talk about them much so I'm looking forward to learning about that time in my life.

I haven't signed up for the gym yet, too busy working out here in the Cave and doing power walks around the neighborhood.

I've been getting really good at spotting those dark cloud formations that love to dump downpours on this town, and I can cut a power walk or a dog walk short when I need to. They haven't caught me yet.

Update: Shelbs just reminded me that this is not my first doctor visit down here, that I had a cute Latino lady doctor for a bit in Tampa. I kinda remember...

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Shelby and I drove into a quiet downtown Pensacola this evening, and split a one hour birthday present massage from Dan Lovelock, into two thirty minute sessions for Shelby and me.

I had him focus on my back, arms and head, the areas that suffered the most from my recent Tennessee episode. Dan's big hands were strong and his ability to connect my breathing with pressure points, and relieve soreness I didn't know my body was hiding, was amazing.

And since I was his last appointment, and we're neighbors, I got a ride home!

Neighbors Crystal and Dan, and daughter Claire dropped by last evening. It was a fun time, mocktails were made by Dan in our kitchen, and dancing to YouTube videos out in the Cave, orchestrated by five year old Claire armed with the remote.

Then we pulled some chairs out into the space in front of the Cave and passed the peace pipe. It was a beautiful evening, moon was out and the dogs were running free around us, but knew to stay close.

They gave me a massage ticket from their studio back on my birthday and I'm taking them up on it this evening at 1800. I'm going to propose that I split it up with Shelby, she could use it.

I started my truck up this morning and drove to the local Publix grocery store. As I was backing into a spot, a guy was walking to the car on my left and started getting in to it. By watching him I backed my right taillight into a light pole, cracking it. I picked up the knocked out piece and maybe I can super glue it.

Then I went into the store and bought Cantaloupe Chunks for my cereal. The store brand Mango Chunks I got a while back were not ripe, and hard, and I was hoping these were better. Turned out, even diced into little pieces, they were just as bad. I have no teeth, and I can't eat them.

And the prices for this shit are outrageous. For the first time, I'm considering Food Stamps. I go by their big Florida Services office every day on my walks. I should stick a shirt into my waist band and drop by one day.

A cool thing happened last night. We grownups were chatting in the kitchen, when young Claire said from the Cave, that the TV had frozen, so I went out.

Turns out the batteries are always falling out of the remote, so it happened to her and when she put the two AAA's back, it didn't work. So I showed her the trick, to make sure the flat end of the batteries go up against the little springs, which are on opposite ends of the holder. She learned something!

One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. My Parkinsons and Neurological issues combine to make we walk like a drunken man. With a smile on my face if anybody says hi, otherwise I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks anymore.

I suppose the cops could stop and ask if I'm drunk, fine, I'll take and pass their breathalizer test. If they insist on taking me home, fine, they know where I live.

Then I'll just go for another walk. I was going to join the gym today, but I've been too busy working out and walking. Besides, it means driving my unlicensed truck downtown. I'm hoping to get that fixed next SS check.

It's raining lightly and I don't mind a few drops on my head, but the sky around here loves to take a big clear piss, so I need to stay close to the Cave.

We've got a few black homeless guys riding around town on old bikes. We pass each other all the time, but rarely talk. The other day one asked if I had a tube repair kit on me.

All I've got on me is a pair of loose black swimming trunks, a small hat turned backward on my head to protect it, and sandals.

I leave my phone and wallet in the Cave, which is kinda risky if I pass out, but like I said, the cops know where I live.

We really need to do a shop, but Shelbs is coming down with something and I'm unmotivated. Think I'll go for another walk...

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By the time Shelby got back this morning I already had two walks in, 90 abb rolls, 10 pushups and no breakfast. She said You ready for Yoga class?, and at first I said No but she told me it's already paid for, and I said Yes!

Besides, it was happening at our friends Dan and Crystal's new studio, and I've wanted to see the place.

I slipped into some black swim trunks and put on the oldest torn and beat up tee shirt I own. She said How about that nice black one? and I said Why, I ain't trying to attract any woman?, and that's what I wore to Yoga class.

And that is finally the truth. I don't expect to ever be with a woman again. Once you get that, it sets you free! I'm still working on my body, losing that last bit of belly fat and building my arms and abbs back up, but it ain't for no fucking woman, it's for me!

And it ain't because I'm infertile, I've gotten off three times in the last week, but that's a private story.

Yoga was nice, it was a stretching and breathing class, something I needed. At the end we were all on our backs on these elevated pads. Dan came along and put cool wet white washcloths over our eyes. If we wanted a quick neck massage, we put our palms up, as our arms lay beside us.

I've got a birthday gift massage from them that I haven't used, so my palms were defiantly up. Dan's big hands felt great on my neck, as I knew they would.

Shelby brought back my favorite old black coffee cup this morning. I had left it at that recent pool party, and it's been floating around her friends hands, finally landing in hers.

This has been my main drinking cup for many years, since Idaho. I brought it along on every adventure, drinking booze and whatever from it. It was always the last thing I saw at night.

Within minutes of putting a moctail in it today, I knocked it off my table when I spun my chair around, and the handle broke off when it hit the floor.

This could be another message from the other side...

I just put one more moctail in it, and with the handle gone, it's worthless. The old drinking cup is now going in the trash. Goodbye my old enemy.

I'll shortly be alone for the night as Shelby, Zinny and Chelsea head out to comfort a friend in need.

We need a shop, which we'll do tomorrow when she gets back. I guess I have no recourse but to have breakfast at the Coffee Cup restaurant tomorrow morning. I've never been there, they open at 0700, and I hear they're great.

Then we have a yoga class at Dan and Crystal's studio downtown at 1000. I've never been there either, and I'm really looking forward to it.

After that, Shelby is having brunch with her Mafia Crew. I ain't making this shit up, drama, yoga and Mardi Gras stuff surround me.

Hey, I'll enjoy it while it lasts because she's going to be gone most of October, and I'll be hanging with Zinny. If I can pull off a short road trip that month, Chelsea can watch her.

I'm joining Anytime Fitness on Monday and the cost is covered by my new Florida Medicare Advantage.

Still sober and enjoying the fuck out of it!

We drove downtown to the Farmers Market this morning. The place was hopping with music, people, crafts and dogs. Zinny was a hit and she had a ball.

We bought tamales for later, ate some strange filled thing, got a couple dog treats and Shelbs bought a plant.

She wanted to check out Bruce Beach, which is attached to downtown but is under construction. It should be great when it opens the first of next year.

Zinny took an ocean bath, Shelbs got her feet wet, we bought iced coffees and went home.

Zinny ate her Starbucks pup cup on the way, and got a bath in the sink, while munching on her new treats. It's called a spoiled Dogs Life.

It's been a really nice Friday afternoon in the neighborhood, Shelby and I hooked up with Crystal and her young daughter Claire for a two block walk across the railroad tracks, to the Art Gallery.

We brought our little dogs, and the five year old cutie rode her push scooter. This afternoon was the Art Show and it was way cool, with some great local works.

Here's the Story about the photo below.

I've been living on protein shakes in the morning, sometimes a bowl of shredded wheat with red raspberries, mocktails throughout the day, chocolate ice cream for lunch, and frozen fruit in the evening.

One of my favorite fruits when we moved in here was frozen Mango Chunks. We ran out, and on our last big shop I picked up Publics version, which turned out unripe and hard for me to eat.

Now we have the Dole version, which even while frozen, melt in my mouth, I love them. These must have been what we had initially.

So that's my life now, exercising in the Cave, going for up to three walks a day, even more if the dogs want to go. I've taken Zinney out twice today. Then I eat fruit and frozen berries, and sip on healthy drinks until I go to bed.

Beats drinking and making a fool out of myself, after two weeks...

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I've put together a few old photos of visits Riley and I took down to Oakdale, CA to visit Shelby and Shelly.

The original photo of Shelby, Riley and John, sat on the table besides my bed in Idaho for well over a decade. It was the first thing I saw when I woke up, and the last image as the light went off at night.

The fact that Shelby and Riley are the two most important people in my life so many years later, is attributable to this moment in time.

I had just returned to my little house in Tennessee, from my first Caribbean cruise, when I experienced this. I had been gone a week, on the Drink Package, so the first thing I did as I walked through the door was grab my bottle of vodka from under the sink and set it on the counter.

I grabbed my cup and filled it with ice from the fridge, then turned around and saw this. From out of nowhere this big beautiful Praying Mantis appeared on the side of the bottles lid.

I grabbed my camera and took several shots, this being my favorite. Then I carried the bottle and the mantis out to my front yard and set him on the tree. I had never seen such a beautiful insect in Tennessee before, and never saw another since.

It was obviously a sign, that I totally ignored. I know that now as I approach two weeks sober tomorrow.

btw: This is the most popular photo on my very large collection of photos on Flickr.

I opened up the new bank account this morning, with a great local branch of Hancock Whitney.

Lola was as great as a lady named Mylola should be, and set me up exactly as I needed, with a wonderful smile on her face throughout. Her husband and 10 and 20 year old sons are very lucky.

So am I, it's great to have a new account, one who's last four digits add up to my angel number of 23.

When I got home I set up bank account access to everything. The next step was to change my Social Security direct deposit from my bank in Idaho, where it's been since I started SS sixteen years ago, to here.

I attempted to make the change online, but our government has out sourced it's security to an outfit called Login, which demanded a six digit number to proceed, with no way to get one.

Then I discovered that we have a local SS office, which I called and quickly talked to a real person, based here in Pensacola. Using the old routing numbers off my Idaho checks and the new ones Lola wrote down for me, he made the change smoothly.

My SS is now coming to my new bank and it may make it by the end of the month. If not I'll transfer it here and shut down my old account in the process.

One more, nearly final step, towards becoming a Floridian.

Have you ever had a Smalls slider? Yea, me either until today. It's a fast food place that serves up small burgers and seasoned fries. Shelby's friend Matt is a franchise owner of this chain and we got an invite for a free drive thru meal today, before they officially open the new Pensacola place tomorrow.

Smalls was hopping with invites like ourselves, and a young lady took our order standing by the drivers window. The food was great and they have places in Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, South Carolina and Texas. In other words, the South.

I even drank a coke, can't remember the last time I did that, and the sliders had pickles, which I normally don't eat, but they were great.

Here's the double:

I'm adding Raspberries and Mango Chunks to my afternoon mocktails, so in addition to a straw, I add a spoon. Both are plastic, so to be somewhat environmentally friendly, I reuse them throughout the evening. Ok, I'll switch to metal spoons and straws, sheesh..

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Here's the liquids

My buddy Zinny the dog and I just pulled off another twofer walk. That's two blocks up, one over, two back and one block home. Next will be a twosquare, two up and two over. She's loving the new territory, and the exercise. So am I.

I'm on day eleven of my new sobriety, and both nurses have commented on how much better I look. I value their opinion.

Shelby's cooking a Swedish meatball meal up in the crockpot. See ya.

Well, I found me a good bank here in Pensacola. I contacted their corporate office last week from a form on their website, and a nice lady named Lola just called from the local branch, and I'll meet her tomorrow and setup my new account.

Then I'll call SS and have my benefit payment direct deposited into my new bank monthly, then Idaho and Tennessee banking will fade into the dust.

It's amazing how much I've integrated into Florida citizenry. Once I come up with the three or four hundred to license my truck, it will be complete.

I didn't see this coming, I was pretty positive that my demise would happen in that small Tennessee house on a dead-end street. I thought I would end up going the way of my three year older brother.

Dana died in a hospice after living in a locked down California nursing home, a few years back. I found out after the fact, by a letter sent from the State. I don't know if my sister was ever contacted.

What a sad way to die. I tried to rescue him from that nursing home when I lived in Idaho, but I had no support, and failed. Idaho failed shortly after that and I landed in Tennessee.

At least now, if I have a heart attack in the Cave, maybe the nurses will be over, and Amy the P/A will be visiting from the south. They can take turns doing CPR and mouth to mouth, and bring me back...

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Ain't nothing like a house full of beautiful women. The nurses Chelsea and Jen are over, laughing and gossiping around the couch with Shelbs. I even ended up with an extra little dog for a walk around the block.

I carry a small green bag with a paper towel inside, tucked into my belt. I picked up three rounds of shit from those two on this latest walk. I think this is what my life has evolved to, I live in a Cave and I pickup fresh dog shit for disposal.

The girls made mocktails from a big bag of frozen berries, and I had a plate of them for dinner, out in the Cave.

I've been doing a lot of walking around our hood, and I see cool old houses, dead and thriving small businesses, and a few street people. One of my favorite groups is a few guys that sit on a front porch, listening to hip hop and smoking pot. I get a What's up old man? from them now.

It's an overcast cool day down here on the Gulf. I woke up in a weird mood and as I started my walk around the neighborhood, I settled into a badass one. If anybody had fucked with me I would have used every ounce of strength in my old body, to make them regret it.

I began thinking about all the people I've known who have bailed on me because of my addiction to alcohol, or just because I've sometimes been an asshole as a result.

I suppose I can't blame them, you get back what you put into this life, but sometimes love shines through and you are forgiven and supported. That's my case right now, I have Shelby and Riley, and his family, that's it.

I have more than a dozen grandkids who are grown and I have never met. I have family on my sisters side, including my sister, that I haven't seen in years. I have old friends who prefer lecturing to compassion, and now I want nothing to do with any of them.

I just want to get well now, back in shape, and fuck everything else.

When I die, burn me up, scatter my ashes in the desert, and pour a bottle of vodka on me.

I'm bailing now on lost friends and non caring family, deleting their contacts, and focusing on my state of being at this moment.

Shelbys got a girlfriend over, who's going through marital distress, and they're talking it out on the couch in the living room. I try to stay out of the house as much as I can at these moments, but a man needs to eat a little ice cream for lunch, and make himself a mocktail or two, so I slip in and out as peacefully as I can.

So I'm enjoying my Sunday in the Cave. Considering how my morning started, I'll take it.

Shelbs whipped up some link sausage and eggs this morning, been missing that. Here it is smack dab in the middle of what would have been a long four days, and she and Zinny are home!

Todd and a guy he hired named Jason are here, working on the A/C in my room. I think they're going to shut it down, which is fine with me.

Shelby was putting together a new deck chair in the living room and we all sat around talking about our favorite strip clubs. Todd was a bouncer at our local one, Shelby talked about a recent New Orleans visit to a swank club, and I shared one of my many stories, about a little club in Oregon made out of an old coffee shop.

Yea, you sat at the counter of a curved, you know, old style restaurant. Young beautiful college girls would sqwirm in from the right on their backs, along the counter, completely naked, right in your face. By the time they made it over to the other side, who knows what position they would be in, but they were covered in tips. And you couldn't touch them, or your butt was out on the street.

After the guys left, Shelbs and I made our own meals, and then had mocktails. Her alcohol intake has gone down a lot since I stopped nine days ago.

Her drink is the one in the tall glass, with a whole lot of healthy stuff, mines the shorter one, with seltzer water and my own mix of healthy liquids.

Cheers to MockTails!

I've been living a nice life, in a fine Florida beach town, with a kind beautiful roommate, without having a single dime in my pocket and no Debit card.

I don't need money in my hand right now. I haven't had enough to get my Florida vehicle reg, which means I don't drive my truck, which means I don't need gas.

I'm not drinking, which means I don't buy booze, and I don't go to the bar. My meager rent contribution, and buying most of the food, comes from my SS, and Shelby holds my debit card until I need it, which I have not.

I've been going through my old stuff and there are sentimental things I'm glad I still have, but thats pretty much it. I've found a couple household items that have contributed to the house, and I've got a box full of electronics that are totally worthless to me now.

So, there is nothing I need to buy, I'm enjoying sobriety, and my walks around the neighborhood are great, with and without the sweet little dog.

Shelby and I have also had some great adventures. I have all I need, and a great roommate, who needs cash?

Shelby's four day out of town trip, was canceled, so I've got her and Zinny here this weekend. That's great for me, it would have been a long, on the wagon, weekend otherwise.

We just did a big shop and should be good for a while, and I can get some great Zinny time in, without being her sole care giver. We've got the walk around the block down now, we both enjoy it, and it's time to stretch it out to two blocks soon.

The end of this Thursday evening marks seven days sober, so I can use this day when I start counting weeks. If I live long enough, maybe I can start counting years.

I would love to turn eighty, and be two years sober.

I see these little ant hills all over the neighborhood. The bigger one on the right has been here since we moved in, and it sits right at the entrance to our backyard.

It gets run over by vehicle tires all the time, but the tiny ants keep rebuilding it. Now there working on a new one to the left, as a backup anthill.

The photo here doesn't do them justice, because they're a flaming bright red. I suppose Florida hates them, but I like them. They remind me of a couple women I've known

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I have to say, as I contemplate my life in this current moment of time, which we all share in one common way or the other, is that I'm amazed at how well I feel.

Hell yea I got issues, I'm an old man bumping up against eighty, with brain damage and Parkinsons! Sometimes I walk funny, sometimes I get dizzy, sometimes I can't get my old ass out of the Ocean.

But I feel good walking around this neighborhood, holding my back and my head up straight, bare shirted, with an old hat protecting my head. I've taken a few Caribbean adventures in the last seven years, and I wish I looked then, how I look now.

And day six is winding down. Slelbs leaves for a four day jaunt tomorrow, and I'll have plenty of oppertunities to make myself better.

For a guy that hates taking any meds, I take a bunch lately. Four in the morning at 0600, one at noon, and three at night. Now we've added one multi-vitamin and five more vitamin goodies to the process.

Shelby is the pill master, has been for some time now, and her skills amaze me.

I have absolutely no memory of being hauled off in an ambulance from my little house in Tennessee. Shelbs keeps mentioning rehab places I was in. Really?

I've got a new primary care doctor that I'll meet on the 19th, and Shelby's coming along. She knows pretty much everything about my condition, while I know nothing. He's an older guy with a great reputation in town.

An old photo of me recently popped up, and I have to assume it was from the eighties. I spent the seventies writing code on mini computers, but this is obviously PC based, which began the next decade.

The image at upper left looks like a TV, but it's a window showing a high snow bank, so I'm suspecting a code adventure we took one year, up to a cabin at Lake Tahoe.

I was the computer scientist, the creative heart of a couple companies and products. There's a drink to my left, a cigarette in my right hand, and I need a haircut.

There's also two keyboards, and one of those old plastic chairs I remember from my childhood in the fifties.

It's a rainy cool day here in Pensacola, and as I work on day six, I'm trying to find a new local bank here.

I'm keeping fluids going down my tube using canned liquids from the fridge, but I almost screwed up this afternoon!

I really like the La Crocx Pure Sparkling Water, with zero everything, and nicely carbonated. Sometimes we're out of them, like today, so I grab one of the many weird flavored beverages Shelby keeps in the fridge.

I get a small glass, drop in a couple of ice cubes, pour a bit of the flavored water in, then top it off with filtered water. It keeps me hydrated in the Cave and satisfies my needs.

Today I grabbed a can called McIntosh Unfiltered Cider. It was alright, had just enough kick to flavor the water. I made two glasses today, using just a small splash from the can. As I was putting it back in the fridge, Shelby said that's considered a beer.

WTF! I'm on day five of sobriety, and I just had a small amount from that can go down my tube. I dumped the second one out, offered the can to Shelby, and she said she didn't like them, and into the garbage it went.

My sobriety is the most important thing in my life now, finally. I have a few important people that I love in my life, and I'm doing this for them, and me.

So, does that sip of unfiltered cider break my days sober, fuck no! I'm doing this on my own rules, don't need AA, don't need drugs, don't need nothing but my motivation to stop making a fool out of myself.

Shelby, Zinny the miniature Daschund, and I, went over the long bridge, past the touristy part of Pensacola Beach, and the multi-million dollar town houses, to Dog Beach. It's the only place around that allows dogs to play in the Gulf Of Mexico.

We strolled out into the rolling waves of ocean that felt like a lukewarm bath. One of the waves smacked me in the face and I nearly lost my hat and glasses. Finally, Shelbs and Zin got out, while I tried to.

As I floated towards the beach, I tried to stand up, in about two feet of water, on sloped sand, and I couldn't. I had a really rough time on both of my walks this morning, and the upper parts of my legs, where they connect to my torso, were giving out on me.

So, I was stuck in the water about ten feet from the dry sand, and I couldn't stand up. I finally caught Shelbys attention and she waded out to help me, and it wasn't working.

A beautiful girl with long hair and a dog sitting under an umbrella saw us struggling and she made a mouth movement asking if we needed help, and I nodded yes. She then got up and came out into the water. It took my arms around two women's shoulders to get me up standing, and walking towards the sand.

Now you may be thinking I was just being my typical fucked up self, but I haven't had a drink in four days, and I wasn't high. Stone cold sober and I couldn't get out of the ocean.

I've been in the Cave most of the day, after a walk this morning. Shelby rushed out early, looking hot, for some time with her crew.

I was hungry for lunch so I grabbed one of those frozen crab cakes and zapped it for two minutes in the MW. Then I threw it in with a couple of eggs I was scrambling and cooked it up good.

I toasted a bun bottom, slathered on some of that custom tater sauce, layed down a slice of cheese, and then poured the whole pan of Jim's Crab Eggs on top. I ate it with a knife and spoon in the Cave.

For dinner tonight, I had a mandarin orange topped with chocolate ice cream, ate it in one bite. It took me two minutes to get it down, since I have no teeth. Meanwhile my brain was working on options if I choked on it.

I'm heading into the end of day three, alcohol free, holding good, except for the munchies.