Modern human life exists as a scale of 0 to 99, where a 0 is the sad soul living on a cold big city street with absolutely nothing, not a penny, starving and dying.
A 99 has it all, the billionaires. And between the two is an amazingly relative structure of levels that change as they interact. Back in my early seventies programming days we called these Level Breaks, but I digress.
Your LSN (Life Scale Number), 0 to 99, defines where you feel you're at right now, relative to everyone else on the planet. We'll put Elon and the Saudis at 99.
The decimal, 0 to 99, defines your self esteem at the moment, changing often, it's your how the fuck do you feel about yourself number.
So I'll start it off, my LSN is 23.77. Far from 0.0, where I have been a couple of times before.
I'm living in a nice quiet little place now, stash running out, but still alive and creating a new number system.
My .77 self esteem number represents my levels. There were many moves I made in life that changed my direction, and I regret none of them, because I wouldn't have the ones I love, in my life now.
Self esteem involves integrity, and you have to factor it in from your beginning, to where you are right now.
Mine is damned solid now, just damaged, so 77 it is.
Here's my 23.77 world, with an empty chair:
The only person I talked to today was a good old boy who jumped out of Karen's passenger seat to give me a bag of DoorDash food. He thanked me for indicating I was a new customer on the left of the duplex, in my profile. They've been delivering to my neighbor on the right for a while now.
Very interesting way to make a living, Karen drives while her partner picks the product up, and delivers it. Meanwhile she's juggling the business and new orders on her phone, sitting behind tinted windows at the wheel of her little car.
If I couldn't blog now, I would go mad. It is my outlet, like Acid was in the Sixties. Like creating new computer code and concepts in the Seventies and Eighties was.
Blogging at the most honest level with the world gives me peace, knowing I've documented it. I can go back to any day of well over the past decade and see where I was at, who I was with, what I was doing and what I was thinking.
And on another level, I've documented my entire life, because writing about my past, shares the stage with my present.
My blogs have been my therapists, I tell them personal stuff so I can feel better, not expecting any, but hoping for, a little feedback in return.
I watch the snow dump in Tahoe, and I'm sure the place I left in the Idaho mountains has been hit. The Texas wildfires have probably burnt out unknown relatives of mine.
Meanwhile, it's a beautiful Monday here at the bottom of Tennessee. Sunny, light wispy clouds, no wind, and 70°.
My door is wide open. Daniel's off today, playing hooker hooky, and man them ho's been flying up and down this street!
I don't even get crumbs, those girls walk a straight line between his door and the road. As I sit on my knees at the edge of his sidewalk, I can't get a peek up a skirt, much less a flash.
So because I have no life, I decided to see how DoorDash would handle my missing BBQ Beans side order problem.
I jumped through a few hoops, told my sad story to a text box, and within an hour I got an email from DoorDash.
If you click the image above, it will take you to DoorDash Claims. I'm impressed by the whole process there, you answer a few questions on screen as they narrow down what your issue is.
DoorDash's AI bots are then able to extract the issue, analyze the transaction from they're side, determine a solution, and execute it.
A silly message is injected saying a resolution will be sent to you in 58 minutes, implying that humans are actually looking at your issues, in a queue, and making decisions. After an hour, it's sent to you.
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe they have thousands of Dashers handling claims on their phones, in between dashes. Calling the driver, calling the place, demanding to know what happened to this old man's beans! Naw...
Anyway, they were sorry it happened and issued a $2.38 credit to my account, usable next time.
I've got me a DoorDash order going from Legends Express. Getting the Meatloaf, I've discovered they make if from scratch, right there, and it's good. Along with Mac & Cheese and Potato Salad.
There is a DoorDash new user coupon code you can use for a month that gets up to $7 off orders over $10. So I added on Bbq Beans as a side, and saved a couple bucks on the order, at $15.84.
I'm getting kinda hooked on this way of consuming. The service charges and tip pretty much double the cost, but there is no cash involved, just food handed to you at your door.
My food has been picked up according to the brilliant interactive map, but now she (Karen) stopped at McDonalds for another pickup.
I split everything in half when it arrives, one for a later meal, and the other I heat up in my air fryer.
I'm not concerned about food temp since Legends sides are always barely warm anyway. The Dashers were nice, but the order got fucked up. I picked the Beans as an extra side to bring the total down, but there were no Beans when I opened the bag inside my house.
I wonder how things like this get resolved in the DoorDash, provider, consumer world. I'm not going to sweat a $3 cup of beans, that saved me a couple of bucks, but bigger issues would be tough to navigate.
I'm not living at the moment, I'm buzzing and surviving. I can't remember the last deep intelligent conversation I've had with anyone around here.
My son Riley and grand-daughter Shelby provide me the words that keep me on track, it's all about love, family, and happiness.
And not about heartbreak, marital disputes or those that betray and abuse you.
I've been drinking smoking and writing all fucking day, just because I can, and I have no life. But what I say is very real, and the way I live my life is very honest.
Anybody that want's to know who I am, only has to ask. Or simply read this blog!
I stepped out onto my little porch this evening, to caress it with a puff of smoke, and realized how dead it feels. Yea it's quiet, private and safe, but theirs no vibrancy, no life.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one really living on this street. Since I landed here going on six years ago I've had some great drives around the country, two cruises, been to Belize three times, and Roatan twice.
I had an epic drive across America to hang with my boy in Seattle one Summer, while Brian and I hooked up there recently and did the NorthWest by car, fed the homeless in downtown Portland, and attended my grand-daughters first birthday.
My truck knows the routes between my place and Atlanta, Pensacola, and Tampa, well.
My heart was broken midway through this southern adventure, but I carried on, and for a guy in his late seventies, I've done alright!
But it's all catching up to me now. My physical health is quicky matching my monetary health, and both are bouncing on the bottom. Maybe I have one more great adventure in me, Omaha, NB.
Daniel and I had a fun moment this evening. He finally came over after wasting away in his chair all Sunday, feeling miserable and sorry for himself.
I've been blogging all afternoon, and was really proud that I made it up to the tobacco store for ice and peanut butter cups.
At one point I started parroting him, pissing and moaning about how his wife doesn't love him anymore, and how sad and depressed he was.
Suddenly he returned it right back, doing a great imitation of me throwing blog posts and photos at anyone I can find. Read this post, check this out! Shut the fuck up Jim!
Daniel has gone home, but sometimes in life you know you have found a good friend.
I've been thinking about death today as I walk around my little place. I'm alone with a will, that more and more just looks like possession distribution.
Death brings about disruption, and I don't want that to happen to my family. In fact, I wish you would all stay home. Unless you're in my Will and want any of my pathetic things.
I give my neighbor Daniel power of attorney to get me cremated. Use the possessions not covered or wanted in the Will, to cover the cost. Estate sale baby!
Split the ashes between Riley and Shelby, for a West/East coast beach goodbye.
Hopefully I'll continue being around for a while, just wanted to let my wishes be known.
I watched Caitlan set her record at halftime, and enjoyed a down home cooked Sunday afternoon supper. Basketball on my TV is now off, my door is open, it's 59° and quiet.
I saw something big and white run across Jeffs yard across the street. I jumped up, grabbed the binoculars, and sure enough, our albino squirrel is back, and all grown up.
Last year he was just a kid being bullied by other squirrels because he didn't look like them. He's big and badass now!
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