Daniel was trying to get my dander up tonight, accusing me of being wasted all the time. I asked if he was willing to pay for rehab but he ignored the question and kept on bitching.
Being quite intoxicated himself, it was comical. I do have a normal lonely life, a routine that starts when I roll my feet off the side of my bed early in the morning, thankful to be alive.
My daily goal is to take care of my place and accomplish all external chores by 1100.
Then I start getting wasted. It's my place and my life, I'm not going anywhere and I am bothering absolutely nobody.
There is some magic that occurs within me when I reach a certain state. I make no apologies for anything, I'm not hurting anyone, I'm just finding myself.
I've got the shakes real bad today. Some days my body is a vibrator from head to toe and it's too bad a Giant Woman's Society doesn't exist, I could rent myself out!
I've been watching a NetFlix series called The Resident, where the lead surgeon's hands are shaking, like mine. Not a good thing to have if your cutting on people. The solution is brain surgery.
That sounds wonderful, I'll pursue it! And just before I go under I'll tell them "Remember, if air hits the brain, it's never the same". Just in case I wake up as a still vibrating girl with altered memory...
I realized a while back that my main external drive sitting on the table next to my PC had been sucked up in the grab. The whole thing was turned into a gaming rig, with the drive formatted for storage. I hope they're having fun with it.
Unfortunately, my entire collection of digital photos and videos, my code, and everything else that was on that drive, is gone. The good part is that over the years I've curated all of it, and published the best over two blogs, Flickr and YouTube.
The originals to everything were also there, the source from which all my content came. What difference does it make if it's gone, I'm not going to adjust some old photo or re-edit a video!
All that PC had on it was a history that should have been erased anyway. I just found a smaller drive stuck away that had a bunch of stuff from Teton Valley, a decade ago, I'll call this my empty Tin Cup.
Well, I'm living up to my history of failing to vote in the Primaries. I knew yesterday it was Super Tuesday today, but when I woke up, I had forgotten. By the time I remembered, it was too late to drive there responsibly and perform my civic duty.
If Trump loses Tennessee by one vote, take me out in a field and hang me, I'll tell you to hurry up. As to the other items on the ballot here, I have no idea what they are.
I would actually be doing this State, County, and City a disservice by walking in as an uninformed voter and checking boxes straight down a party line. But I always vote in the Presidential.
So there, that's why I really don't vote in Primary elections, never mind that forgetting thing...
Modern human life exists as a scale of 0 to 99, where a 0 is the sad soul living on a cold big city street with absolutely nothing, not a penny, starving and dying.
A 99 has it all, the billionaires. And between the two is an amazingly relative structure of levels that change as they interact. Back in my early seventies programming days we called these Level Breaks, but I digress.
Your LSN (Life Scale Number), 0 to 99, defines where you feel you're at right now, relative to everyone else on the planet. We'll put Elon and the Saudis at 99.
The decimal, 0 to 99, defines your self esteem at the moment, changing often, it's your how the fuck do you feel about yourself number.
So I'll start it off, my LSN is 23.77. Far from 0.0, where I have been a couple of times before.
I'm living in a nice quiet little place now, stash running out, but still alive and creating a new number system.
My .77 self esteem number represents my levels. There were many moves I made in life that changed my direction, and I regret none of them, because I wouldn't have the ones I love, in my life now.
Self esteem involves integrity, and you have to factor it in from your beginning, to where you are right now.
Mine is damned solid now, just damaged, so 77 it is.
Here's my 23.77 world, with an empty chair:
The only person I talked to today was a good old boy who jumped out of Karen's passenger seat to give me a bag of DoorDash food. He thanked me for indicating I was a new customer on the left of the duplex, in my profile. They've been delivering to my neighbor on the right for a while now.
Very interesting way to make a living, Karen drives while her partner picks the product up, and delivers it. Meanwhile she's juggling the business and new orders on her phone, sitting behind tinted windows at the wheel of her little car.
If I couldn't blog now, I would go mad. It is my outlet, like Acid was in the Sixties. Like creating new computer code and concepts in the Seventies and Eighties was.
Blogging at the most honest level with the world gives me peace, knowing I've documented it. I can go back to any day of well over the past decade and see where I was at, who I was with, what I was doing and what I was thinking.
And on another level, I've documented my entire life, because writing about my past, shares the stage with my present.
My blogs have been my therapists, I tell them personal stuff so I can feel better, not expecting any, but hoping for, a little feedback in return.
I watch the snow dump in Tahoe, and I'm sure the place I left in the Idaho mountains has been hit. The Texas wildfires have probably burnt out unknown relatives of mine.
Meanwhile, it's a beautiful Monday here at the bottom of Tennessee. Sunny, light wispy clouds, no wind, and 70°.
My door is wide open. Daniel's off today, playing hooker hooky, and man them ho's been flying up and down this street!
I don't even get crumbs, those girls walk a straight line between his door and the road. As I sit on my knees at the edge of his sidewalk, I can't get a peek up a skirt, much less a flash.
So because I have no life, I decided to see how DoorDash would handle my missing BBQ Beans side order problem.
I jumped through a few hoops, told my sad story to a text box, and within an hour I got an email from DoorDash.
If you click the image above, it will take you to DoorDash Claims. I'm impressed by the whole process there, you answer a few questions on screen as they narrow down what your issue is.
DoorDash's AI bots are then able to extract the issue, analyze the transaction from they're side, determine a solution, and execute it.
A silly message is injected saying a resolution will be sent to you in 58 minutes, implying that humans are actually looking at your issues, in a queue, and making decisions. After an hour, it's sent to you.
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe they have thousands of Dashers handling claims on their phones, in between dashes. Calling the driver, calling the place, demanding to know what happened to this old man's beans! Naw...
Anyway, they were sorry it happened and issued a $2.38 credit to my account, usable next time.
I've got me a DoorDash order going from Legends Express. Getting the Meatloaf, I've discovered they make if from scratch, right there, and it's good. Along with Mac & Cheese and Potato Salad.
There is a DoorDash new user coupon code you can use for a month that gets up to $7 off orders over $10. So I added on Bbq Beans as a side, and saved a couple bucks on the order, at $15.84.
I'm getting kinda hooked on this way of consuming. The service charges and tip pretty much double the cost, but there is no cash involved, just food handed to you at your door.
My food has been picked up according to the brilliant interactive map, but now she (Karen) stopped at McDonalds for another pickup.
I split everything in half when it arrives, one for a later meal, and the other I heat up in my air fryer.
I'm not concerned about food temp since Legends sides are always barely warm anyway. The Dashers were nice, but the order got fucked up. I picked the Beans as an extra side to bring the total down, but there were no Beans when I opened the bag inside my house.
I wonder how things like this get resolved in the DoorDash, provider, consumer world. I'm not going to sweat a $3 cup of beans, that saved me a couple of bucks, but bigger issues would be tough to navigate.
I'm not living at the moment, I'm buzzing and surviving. I can't remember the last deep intelligent conversation I've had with anyone around here.
My son Riley and grand-daughter Shelby provide me the words that keep me on track, it's all about love, family, and happiness.
And not about heartbreak, marital disputes or those that betray and abuse you.
I've been drinking smoking and writing all fucking day, just because I can, and I have no life. But what I say is very real, and the way I live my life is very honest.
Anybody that want's to know who I am, only has to ask. Or simply read this blog!
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